The last few months have proven that I face the same challenge that probably every mom since the beginning of time has struggled with: The balance between getting things done and loving on my baby. I am constantly torn between just wanting to play with Ezekiel and needing (?) to take care of other responsibilities. I know the reality is I can't play with him all day, because stuff does need to get done, but I also know he won't be a baby forever. And I don't want to miss it doing laundry and checking e-mail and putting in my hours for work. I have discovered, though, that some of this stuff (like laundry and dishes) we can do together. (Well, sort of. He plays happily at my feet while I fold and wash and talk to him and try to keep him from eating the dish soap.)
Tonight, as I laid him down to sleep, I held him just a bit longer enjoying the sweetness of our quiet time together. He was completely relaxed in my arms, head against my shoulder, one arm draped around my neck. I could smell his Johnson & Johnson curls and feel his eye lashes brush against my lips. And I wondered "How many more years will he let me do this? Or months? How much longer will I be able to hold him without protests and wiggles?" I don't know, but these are the moments I want to remember. This is the stuff I want his babyhood made up of. I kiss his cheek a thousand times and wonder if he knows, behind those closed eyes, how tremendously loved he is.
1 comment:
Bethany,
This remains a struggle for me everyday. I find myself so caught up in the busyness of life and it seems like the years are slipping by without taking the time to enjoy them. Even Zach still snuggles on my lap sometimes and I can't imagine him all grown up. Every night when all my kids are sleeping, I look at their precious little faces and think "I'll do better tomorrow, I'll read that story, I'll play that game or I'll snuggle patiently when the laundry is calling." But each day the tasks still seem to get in the way. Thanks for the little reminder.
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