Adoption Fire Drill

When I was 12, I wanted to get my ears pierced in the worst way. I begged and pleaded. I daydreamed about how wonderful my life would be if I could just have sparkly and glittery earrings.

Not too long after I went on the ear piercing crusade, I also wanted to learn karate. Even worse than I wanted my ears pierced. So, when my mom offered to let me start karate lessons - as long as I didn't pierce my ears - I took the deal. I remember her saying "You know, honey, if you're in karate, you can't have pierced ears" (she somehow convinced me that it would be dangerous...haha), and I distinctly remember thinking "Who cares about earrings?!? This is KARATE!"

And that is exactly how I felt today when we got the call from Koinonia asking us if we could take in 2 little boys. All of my current plans, expectations, and daydreams immediately paled compared to the prospect of caring for these boys. Who cares about decorating Elijah's nursery? Who cares about the never-ending piles of laundry? Who cares about holiday parties or vacation plans? These are KIDS! All of a sudden, everything else seemed a little lame.

In the end, we felt like that phone call was an "adoption fire drill" (as Heidi put it), testing our hearts and our willingness. Even though it is a couple months sooner than we were thinking, we eagerly said "Yes!" to the boys and immediately began figuring out how we could do it. After I spent the afternoon praying and anticipating, Koinonia ended up calling us back - pretty disappointed - saying that the kids were placed through another agency. It's good news that the boys found a home, but we were bummed. And then I was happy that we were bummed. Because it was such an honest reflection of our hearts. I love that the Lord gave us this little "trial run" to allow us to see - and understand - our own hearts. I think we were both a little surprised at how ready we felt, and how clear God made that decision for us.

Really, it was an amazing day for me. I had to wait several hours after getting the call to talk to Kevan, which gave me some pretty incredible time seeking the Lord. What He is teaching me right now is overwhelming and wonderful all at once, and I felt like it was rubber-hit-the-road kind of day. Do I really see Jesus as my Adonai, my master? Am I willing to live a surrendered life, poured out and emptied of self, as His bondservant? Do I trust His leadership? Am I taking shelter in His covering? Am I listening?

Am I willing to obey?

PS: I became a yellow belt in karate, and got my ears peirced when I was 13. =) Hopefully my commitment level has improved since jr. high!

Whatever is praiseworthy...

It's been a while since I've bragged on my husband. Not for lack of his wonderfulness, just a lack of time. =) But I cannot let this day pass without singing his praises. This is the stuff I want to remember; and when I write, I remember.

#27: The other night, Kevan and I watched some lame show on how People magazine chooses it's "Sexiest Man" winner (hey we were exhausted and it was mindless entertainment!). I couldn't help but think that my definition of "sexy" varies slightly from People. You know what's sexy? When you wake up feeling super rested, only to discover that your husband has been up with the baby for hours - and warmed up a bottle of frozen breast milk on his own accord - just to give you a night of blessed uninterrupted sleep. Put THAT man on the cover of a magazine! PS: Plus, he's hot.

#28: The way Kevan responded today when we got a call from Koinonia. I think that is a separate blog post, but I LOVE that he didn't even hesitate to say "YES!" when they asked us if we were willing to take in 2 boys. It would have been ok if he wanted to wait (we'd agreed to wait until Elijah was 6 months), but his excitement (even as we talked through all the "practical" stuff) was practically oozing out of him. Seeing him in that moment, completely surrendered as a father and leader of our home, willing to add more to his load, to step up to a bigger challenge, to pour out his life for another, again...that is the best version of my husband right there.

#29: I pretty much have never loved my husband more than when I am in labor. And it just gets better with every baby. He is the best coach EVER. With Elijah, I just kept thinking "If I can see Kevan, if I can look into his eyes, I can do this." If I took my eyes off him, I lost focus, started to panic. He is my anchor. He knows it, and takes that job very seriously. I want to have a hundred more babies just to keep sharing that experience with him (unfortunately, they make you take those babies home and raise them forever, so I probably won't be doing that.)

Wow, this is a good exercise. I am, once again, in awe of this man God has provided for me. And it is ONLY by God's grace that anything good is coming from our marriage. May HE be honored and glorified for His work in our lives!

Ezekiel's Animals

For several months now Ezekiel has been obsessed with animals. All day long, our conversations revolve around various animals and their eating habits, mostly. His favorite questions is: "Do (fill in the blank, whatever random animal pops in his head) eat people, or his own food?"

Like this: "Hey mom, do rhinos eat people? No? Oh! They eat their own food! Yeah, that's right. They're nice rhinos."

And, just for posterity, here are a few other classic Ezekiel animal statements I've heard lately:


E: Hey, mom, Can we go to China?
Me: Ummmm....why honey?
E: Well, they have panda bears.

E: I wish we had some pets in our house.
Me: Like what?
E: How 'bout a chameleon, and an anteater, and an armadillo, and a crocodile?
Me: Probably not, babe, crocodiles eat people.
E: Noooooo (with a nervous giggle)...they eat their own food!

"Mom, do lions eat people? (Before I can answer) Oh, yeah. Yeah, they do. But it was an accident."

E: Do dogs eat people?
Me: No, honey, not really.
E: Oh, they eat their own food? So they don't eat kids?
(Probably a good opportunity to explain the difference between "eating" and "biting"!)

E: Is there an elephant at the petting zoo?
Me: No, they are too big to pet. They could step on you.
E: (Pause) Ohhhh....I know! How about a baby elephant??

E: (Driving home at 11 p.m.) Can we go to the zoo?
Me: No, honey, the zoo is closed. All the animals are sleeping.
E: (Pause) How about we just stand at the gate and watch them sleep?

Me doing my hair in the morning, Ezekiel hopping into my bathroom: "Mom! Kangaroos live in Australia. And so do koalas and emus!"

I almost forgot!

One more thing about Elijah! And how I forgot to mention this, I don't know. It is pretty significant: This baby does not spit up!! Yippee! Coming off of two fountain-esque bambinos, I am pretty thrilled by my third - and cleanliest - child. Oh, to wear something more than once without having to wash it. The joy! The minimal laundry he creates! To hold my son after he eats without worrying if my jeans will be used as target practice for baby vomit. It is changing my life!

(Alas, there is always a flip side. So, here is the trade off: I have never heard a gassier child in my life. I will not go into detail, since I am a lady. But trust me when I tell you it is BAD. I have cast my vote, though, and I will take the gas over the vomit any day!)

3 Months!

How in the world is Elijah 3 months old already?? Whatever. But I will say this: They have been 3 WONDERFUL months! And I seriously fall more in love every day. Here is what I know about my little man, so far:

• He startles pretty easily. Loud noises, quick movements, even an unexpected touch can sometimes elicit his "startled cry." I've found that it actually makes a difference if I say "I'm going to pick you up now, Eli" before I move him. Maybe because it really just causes me to move slower around him?
• He loves his brother and sister! They can make him smile like none other, and he loves to watch them make funny faces and dance around.
• He loves his daddy! I swear, he actually tries to reach for him, except that he has no idea how to reach. It's just that his whole body seems to lurch toward Kevan in excitement whenever he's around.
• He's HUGE! He had a pretty good head start, but he still remains in the 95 percentile in both height and weight. At 2 months, he weighed in at 14 lbs. 1 oz! Love. love his rolls and husky little body.
• He's really strong. Holds his head up great, stands on his legs, tried to roll over around 8 weeks, then seemed to give up and hasn't tried lately, can sit up in his high chair and bumbo great.
• He is basically the happiest child ever. I know, I know...I am his mother and I am supposed to think he's amazing. But, really, he is. Even I can't get over it and I witness it every day. He is happy almost all the time. He can seriously just be sitting in his bouncy seat smiling at nothing. Unless he is hungry, tired - or startled! - he is content just hanging out. Plus, his laugh is just about the cutest thing ever! I know I thought the other 2 were easy as babies, but hmmmmm.....Eli might have them beat.
• Except....in ONE area! SLEEP! While Elijah naps like a champ during the day, and is on a super-predictable eating routine he is still not sleeping through the night. And I'd venture to say he's not even close. We've had a few good nights scattered here and there - 7, 8, and one 9 hour stretch! - but mostly he is still at 5 or 6 hours stretches. Same since the day we brought him home from the hospital! My only consolation is that I really don't think there is anything to "fix" since his days are so textbook. I think he just needs that extra feeding. Oh well. he is so darn cute I usually don't mind. Usually. =)
• I spend A LOT of time starring at this baby and playing with him. The rewards are so big - his precious smiles and adorable laugh. I am soaking him in, loving every moment of his baby-ness. And he is reminding me of the things I found so precious and innocent in my other 2 when they were babies. Good reminders, since they are no longer so innocent these days! =)
• So far, we are calling him Elijah, Eli, Husky, and Bull. We will see what "sticks"!

Love, love my Elijah!

PS: None of these pictures are super recent since my camera is dead. =( But those are some of his first smiles, around 6 weeks.

Painting and Prayers.

First off, my camera is broken. Bummer. So, I am on the hunt for a new camera but - in the meantime - no new pictures for the blog. =(

This weekend I was busy painting Baby's room (Baby as in Bekah Jane, not the literal baby of our household). Pink, pink, pink. And she loves it. She keeps coming in saying things like "You paint my walls, mama? It's so pwetty!" And both Ezekiel and Bekah Jane have "helped" by getting paint on the floor, primer in the paint, etc...

As I painted, I daydreamed. And prayed. And thought a lot. I just couldn't help but think about adding another little girl to that big pink bedroom. Not because I want another girl, specifically. But because I am just plain ol' excited about adding to our family again. There, I said it. I am EXCITED. I know my baby is only 2 months old, I know I have 3 small children already. I know I have days where I am overwhelmed and unprepared and ill equipped. But I would have those days if I only had one child. That is just part of being a mother. But I am consumed by the thought that there is a child - or children - that are waiting to be a part of our family. There are children - millions of them - waiting to be a part of ANY family. How could I not think about this while I painted my little girl a darling pink bedroom? How could we not want to share this home, this love, with another child who knows neither home or love?

So I painted. And I prayed. For wisdom, and a pure heart. And strength for the journey we are about to embark on. And stamina when things get really tough; when pink rooms and loving arms may not be enough to soften the hardened heart of a hurting child.

Every night, when I tuck my kids in bed, sing Bekah Jane her "Butterfly song" and Ezekiel "God is so good", kiss their little faces and pray for them with their daddy, I inevitably think about the kids going to bed in far less pleasant conditions. Kids that sleep fitfully, without full bellies or the prospect of a peaceful night ahead. How can I ignore these promptings, these constant reminders that God is calling us to ACT?

The Bible is clear that we are to care for the orphans. I don't have to wonder if that is the right decision. He has written in His word and placed it on our hearts. But I don't want to move ahead of him; dive headlong into a raging river on a wave of emotion. So I am ramping up the prayers. Please, please Lord give us wisdom. We want to do your will, in YOUR timing. Show us when it's finally time to say "Yes!"....cuz I can hardly wait!

Brothers.

"Mom, I love my baby brother very much. I am so glad he came out of your tummy." - Ezekiel

Four Years Ago...

Four years ago....

I fell in love with my firstborn son

I came face-to-face with the answer to my prayers

I finally understood complete and utter unconditional love

I couldn't imagine ever being angry with the perfect little bundle laying in my arms

I had no idea how selfish I can be

I couldn't begin to understand the roller coaster I was about to ride, disguised as parenthood

I called one of my best friends and secretly confided that I could not stop kissing my newborn. She told me, "Of course you can't, silly!"

I had never experienced such awe, wonder, and bliss...or such sleep deprivation

I had no idea how many times I would think to myself "Ohhhh...NOW I get it!" and want to apologize to all the moms before me that I had silently judged.

I became the most biased parent on the planet, quite certain that God had given me the best little boy he had ever created. And then I slowly learned that, indeed, he is a sinner just like the rest of us. (Some days it's more obvious than others.)

I sang "God is so good" to my newborn son as I got him ready for church his first Sunday. And I'm still singing it to him as I tuck him in to bed every night.

I knew my baby was pretty special, but watching him with our subsequent babies only confirmed it. I thank God for giving us such a tender hearted son to begin our family. The way he loves and protects his sister and brother is truly amazing to me.

I didn't know that I would, very soon, see qualities of myself in this new little life. For better or worse, learned or inherited, this boy would mirror his mama. He gets so frustrated with inanimate objects. Why does he get so angry when his plastic animals won't stand up on their own? Well, mama, why do you get so frustrated when your washing machine spews water all over the garage floor? We're BOTH learning what it means to "Be angry, yet do not sin."

I couldn't even begin to grasp how much I would learn from my little boy. Earlier this week he told me, "Mom, tomorrow's a new day. I will choose to obey." His simple words of wisdom reach the deepest places in my heart.

I came to love this boy's daddy in a whole new way.

I could not even begin to image that, four years later, our blessing would be tripled.

Happy 4th Birthday, Ezekiel Sokyra Plumb! You are a dream come true. As we start this next leg of our journey together, I pray that I will have the wisdom, patience, and creativity to mold your heart and draw out the very best in you. I love you, Bear!

Obsessed.

I need to update my blog. I really, really do. But the truth of the matter is I am just too darn obsessed with my new baby boy to make the effort. I am LOVING these newborn days of holding him and snuggling to my heart's content. Awww...the newbies. I am a sucker. And I am unashamedly savoring.

(Ok, ok.. AND I am sort of a crazy busy with three kids under 4 living in my house!)

So, many more pictures and his fun birth story to come but, for now, allow me to introduce our little man:

Elijah Holbrook Plumb

July 13, 2010

10:49 PM

9 lbs 3 oz

Elijah means "The Lord is my God" and Holbrook is what you get when mama can't decide which one of the great men in my family to name him after! (Actually, I think Kevan pitched this to me before I even I had the chance to suggest it!). But I have daydreamed about having a little Elijah for many years - and even about using my maiden name as the middle name - and now he's finally here!

More to come, but Elijah and I are both done with our midnight snack...and I need sleep!

Baby in Belly!

So I finally got brave enough to let Sarah (our awesome photographer) take maternity pictures of me. I figured I would love them one day, when I am no longer pregnant and looking back longingly on this time. And, you know what? I sort of love them now too. Pregnancy is truly beauitful and an absolute miracle from God. I am loving these final weeks with my sweet boy-in-the-belly. Feeling so good and truly amazed at the blessing I am carrying. Now I just can't wait to meet him!

So, here we go...the belly at 30 weeks pregnant:

Happy 8 Years!

In the spirit of our 8th anniversary (yesterday!), here are a few more reasons why I love my husband:


#24: He says really nice things about me to other people. Sometimes he knows I'm listening and that is probably why he makes a point of saying it. He wants me to know that he speaks highly of me to others. Sometimes, I am totally eavesdropping and I still hear him say the sweetest things. I like that, too. =)

#25: If our kids know nothing else of their daddy right now, they know he loves their mommy. I've been thinking about that a lot lately, and what a gift that is to our children. Not only do they see him act lovingly toward me, he makes a point of telling them how much he loves me. Yeah, that's pretty great.

#26: Here's a flashback: When we had our first miscarriage, I was in the hospital overnight because there was a risk the pregnancy was ectopic. This was my first time staying overnight in a hospital since I was born, and not under the happiest of circumstances (Well, is it ever? Unless you're having a baby!). Anyway, Kevan was still in the military at the time and was supposed to report in for duty at like 6 a.m. the following morning. He left the hospital that night when visiting hours were over, with the intention of getting some sleep, going to drill in the morning, and asking to be excused as soon as possible so he could get back to me. Instead, I woke up in the middle of night with him curled up next to me on that tiny hospital bed --- completely dressed in his military gear. I don't know how he convince the nurses to let him back in, but that is where he stayed until the wee small hours that morning. Such a sweet memory, and just one of the many ways he's made something beautiful out something difficult in our lives.

A few fun pictures from Father's Day!

We took the kids to see Toy Story 3...our first time as a family in a movie theater! It was extra special because we went in our jammies at 9 at night (so, yeah, we're either really cool or really horrible parents...you can decide). The kids LOVED it and we had such a great time!

The rest of the pics are enjoying Father's Day opening gifts with daddy and papa.

Quick Updates!

I sort of feel like today is a pivotal day. I turned in a HUGE stack of paperwork to Koinonia today...getting us one step closer to our certification, and one step closer to adopting! Yay! It was sort of like finishing a final term paper...a big relief to get it done! I am excited all over again about this journey we are on.

PLUS we set up our home study...another big milestone! From what I understand, it's sort of a "biggie" because a complete stranger comes into your home and asks you every personal question she can think of. Should be fun. =)

Funny thing about the home study: I had to reschedule from the first time and date, because I soon realized I had overlapped our home study with a baby shower my friend Heidi is throwing me. I bet our social worker doesn't see that schedule conflict all too often. =)

In pregnancy news, I am oh-so-thankful that I've had more energy this past week or so and that I'm feeling really, really good! I hope this keeps up! I'd love to end this pregnancy on a high. I am enjoying feeling the baby move SO much and getting really excited/nervous about labor. But even the nervousness is exciting. I really, really can't wait to meet our new baby. And I do feel more confident about labor, since we've been-there-done-that. I can't wait to see Kevan in action again. He is the best coach a girl could ask for. Somehow, in spite of the crazy amount of pain, it ends up being such a beautiful memory. Hoping and praying for the same experience this time around!

That's all for now. Just trying to capture the highlights...I want to remember this time for all that it is....the good, the bad, and the beautiful!

Crazy Love: Our decision to Adopt

Let me just start out this post by saying "I am tired." As in really, really tired. I think having a 3 year old, a 2 year old, and growing a baby in your belly will do that to you. At least it does to me.

So the thought of adopting another child - at this very moment - is not all butterflies and rainbows. It actually just makes me more tired.

"My heart and my flesh fail, but God is the strength of my heart of my portion forever." (Psalm 73:26).

In the flesh, adoption feels like an overwhelming undertaking at times. And I guess that is why I chose now to tell a chapter of our story. Because now is the real stuff, the doubt, the questioning. Am I capable? Can I really find the energy, the strength, the creativity to mother this unique little brood? And the answers are so glaringly obvious: NO. Not on my own strength; not by my own willpower or sheer determination. Not by sleeping less, sleeping more, or carving out more "me time." ONLY by relying on the Lord, and looking to Him for strength and wisdom, sustenance and grace. And seeking His will in each decision we make in this faith walk. Isn't that true for every God-honoring mama? Because my heart and my flesh WILL fail...and He alone will strengthen me.

Rather than tell our entire up-to-this-point adoption story in one blog post, I am going to let you read the most current chapter. And I'm sure there will be many more posts to come sharing the back story of how God brought us to this point.

As of today, Kevan and I are about 9 weeks away from completing our certification for foster care. Yep, 9 weeks. The significance of that number is that I am also 9 weeks away from delivering our 3rd baby. God, in His super-funny timing, is allowing two dreams of ours to come to fruition riiiight around the same time.

Here's how it happened: We began the certification process to adopt from the foster care system last September. We had always planned to adopt (insert a really great, soon-to-come back story), and felt it was a matter of the Lord's timing. After our first attempt at international adoption was waylaid by Kevan's deployment to Iraq, we began our crazy baby-making journey when hubby got home from war and trusted that God would reveal the right time for us to -once again - begin the adoption process.

After our last miscarriage in September of 2008, we decided we would try for one year for another baby and then start adopting if pregnancy did not happen. This was not much of a leap of faith, since our previous 5 pregnancies seemed to happen if we even breathed the word. But, month after month, we marveled and wondered at what God was doing as we remained a family of 4 and no baby on the way.

In September of 2009 - now we're nearly to our one-year-of-trying-for-a-baby mark - my mom sent us some info about an adoption seminar focusing on the California foster care system. Even though we were still pretty intent on adopting internationally, I sent the info to Kevan. That night, he told me that he'd been thinking about adopting from here in the states, and that he couldn't seem to shake the thought that we should at least look into it. I confessed I'd had the same nagging feeling. Neither one of us had mentioned it before that point.

So, with minds wide open - and basically no clue about what it meant to adopt domestically - we attended this one day event. All I can say about that day is that I felt the presence of God. It was like no one else was in that packed church, and that God was speaking directly to me and Kevan as we both leaned forward in our seats and absorbed every word. After hours of listening - and barely saying a word to each other - they dismissed us to go meet with the agencies represented. We turned to each other in that pew and the words came pouring out. It was incredible to hear how the Lord had spoke to each of our hearts in the same way, how our thoughts aligned, and how we were nervous, excited, and saddened by the same things. It literally took all of 10 minutes before we knew we were in the right place and that we needed to keep taking steps toward adopting a foster child.

We chose our agency, Koinonia - which we LOVE, by the way - and began asking a million questions. We began our training and got VERY excited about where God was taking this little family. And then....we got pregnant.

Attending adoption training classes while you are pregnant is a funny thing. So is explaining to your doctor why you need him to fill out a medical evaluation stating that I'm healthy enough to adopt. But Kevan and I knew that this pregnancy was an awesome and amazing blessing from God, and that it did not change our desire to adopt. It changed the timing a bit, but not the desire.

So, here we are, frantically trying to finish our mounds of paperwork. The deal is, you must have your certification within one year of beginning the process or you start to loose your credits. We are talking hours and hours of time already invested into this process. We started last September. Our baby is due in July. That means we would have about 6 weeks after the baby is born to wrap up the certification process if we put it off until after the birth. Two toddlers and a new baby? I reaalllly don't think I'll be diving into that paperwork prior to 6 weeks postpartum. So, that leaves us with NOW. Get it done before the baby comes and have it ready and waiting for when the time is right.

And, timing, my friends, is an area we desperately need wisdom. When is the right time to start welcoming a foster child - or two - into our home? I am pleading with the Lord to show us, and for us to exercise wisdom in our decision. We are excited, and we can hardly wait to meet the child God has hand-picked for our family. But we also have 3 other babies to think about, and our own sanity and stability as a family - and as a couple.

Throughout the pregnancy, I have known the inexplicable joy of carrying my own ever-so-wanted baby, coupled with the growing excitement of adopting an ever-so-wanted child. What a unique feeling, and I thank God that this pregnancy has only strengthened our desire to adopt. But, right now, as I feel the weight of sleepless nights, mounds of paperwork, hormonal imbalance, and 2 hands-on pre-schoolers, the whole things feels crazy. But I must be a fan of crazy because, somehow, it still feels right. (And, hey, marrying Kevan was crazy and that has worked out crazy- beautifully!) So I continue to take this journey in faith, and trust that God - who is a God of wonders - will reveal to us His perfect timing and we will know His perfect peace.

PS: As you can imagine, there is a WHOLE lot more to this story so, if you have specific questions, please leave them in your comment and I will address those first!

Costco is an aphrodisiac.

#21: For about 4 months now, we've been doing a monthly "family trip to Costco." Let me just say, it is amazing to me that I can fall in love with my husband at Costco. But I do. He sings to the kids, makes up funny games, and brainstorms with me so that I can get the best bang for our buck. It is the most fun I can have shopping without a new pair of shoes involved. When we get home, he unloads all the groceries and cleans out the fridge for me (probably my least favorite chore!). This past week when we went, he said "Babe, let me just say I'm sorrry I ever had you do this by yourself. Costco with two kids is a LOT OF WORK!" Ummm....thank you! Just wait until we have three. =) Totally spoiled, I know. But I AM so thankful I am not loading 50 lbs of dog food into my car by myself anymore.

#22: Last week my dear friend from college, Kristen, and her A-DORABLE baby Owen came down from Washington for a visit. Soooo great to spend 3 solid days playing catch up and loving on that sweet baby. The Babe (as Kevan is known among my college roommates) was awesome, fetching us girls food as we sat around talking, and offering to babysit so we could have some "grown-up" time in a restaurant. I love that he is so supportive of my my friendships, and encourages me to build up these relationships at every opportunity.

This list stuff is a little hard. I am realizing that there is a lot I love about my husband that I really can't even put into words. Or it would sound totally cheesy (probably risking that already). So, for everything in that category, let me just say this as reason #23: I love what God is doing in our marriage, and it is a wonder to me every day that it can be this great. It is only by the grace of God. Maybe one day I'll be able to explain that better. =)

Tomorrow is date day!! Heidi and Mike are watching our kids ALL DAY so we can have the day to ourselves. So excited! On the agenda: Antiquing at the Orange Circle, Jalepenos for lunch and Claim Jumper for dinner (thank you gift cards)!

Random Thoughts at 4 a.m.

I am up for two reasons:

1.) Kevan left for an earlier-than-normal shift for work, and I got up to make him breakfast and pack his lunch (ha ha ha...no! But I did manage to give him a kiss goodbye!)

2.) Today is my glucose test at 9 a.m. and I can't eat for 4 hours before that. So a snack at 4 a.m. seemed like the perfect plan. Is that bad?!? I am so pregnant.

So here is the random stuff floating through my head in the wee small hours:

• Every Wednesday night Ezekiel has Awana (a Bible Club for kids) at our church. It is a wonderful program and he loves it. But, I am not kidding, EVERY Wednesday night in the past 2 months something seems to come up that either keeps us from going or makes us late. People unexpectedly drop by the house (the past two weeks), a friend has a need (probably 3 of the weeks), or we are traveling out of town. It sort of makes me re-think my 3-year-old's weekly commitments. =) There is something to be said about just being available, because sometimes it's the best of life that happens in those last-minute interruptions!

• But....one of the side-benefits of Awana is that it gives me one-on-one time with Baby girl. (Kevan is gone helping out with the youth group at church.) Last night we had so much fun, just me and her. I just went along with whatever she wanted to do, and this is what our night looked like: We colored, and when she was done she held up her picture and said "TA-DA!!". Then we practiced her letters and colors on her Elmo laptop (not making great progress here, by the way. There is a distinct possibility my daughter is color blind.) Then we lined up a bunch of her animals and read them stories. Next, she brushed my hair and put a bow in it. Then she dragged me by the hand to look in the mirror and we sat admiring ourselves for a while (she kept telling me I looked pretty...love that girl). Of course, that led us to play dress up and she put a crown on my head (she was disappointed her princess shoes didn't fit me). Naturally, that led to dancing and twirling until we fell over. We ended the night with a talent show (Bekah won hands down with her amazingly energetic singing/dancing combo that went on for at least 10 minutes). That girl cracks me up! She is so full of life and personality...and she is SO GIRLY! I really cannot believe the difference between her and her brother! (When I play one-on-one with E, we usually race scooters, jump on the bed, and play chase around the house...all pretty funny with my big ol' belly!). Loved hanging with my girl last night.

• Back to my comment about people dropping by unexpectedly...This happens ALL THE TIME. I don't remember this from our Southgate days. Is it because we live so close to church? Is it because we have great neighbors? Is it because I tell people more often 'Just come on over any time!' and they actually take me up on it? Whatever the reason, it is WONDERFUL and I am so glad! But I will tell you what is NOT the reason: It is not because my house is always clean, or that my kids are always dressed (in fact, they are almost always NOT dressed, in spite of my diligence in clothing them every morning), or that I am all dolled up and ready to entertain (I have a recent compulsion with putting on my "comfies" as soon as I walk in the door). It is not because the candles are lit and the cookies are coming out of the oven...although you are likely to find a pot of coffee brewing. And it is definitely not because the floors are freshly mopped and the bathrooms are sparkly clean, because we did that yesterday and then 2 toddlers destroyed any evidence. Oh, how I want to be hospitable and to have others feel welcome in my home. And I'm sure the day will come when that includes a lovely presentation and fine dining. But today is probably not that day...and I am learning that true hospitality means being ok with the imperfections. It is truly comical to me how hard I work to keep up on my house, and how rarely I feel like it shows. So, I have decided that this is the Lord's way of keeping me humble and reminding me that this is HIS house to begin with! We bought it in a flood of gratitude for His provision, and we are committed to sharing it however he sees fit. And if that means welcoming friends in our jammies, then come on in!

Ok, posts to come: Doheny days, reason number 21 why I love my hubby (it's a good one!), and the story of our adoption journey (so far!). Stay tuned!

From the mouths of babes...

So, I have to jot down some of the sweet things Ezekiel said to me yesterday during my moments of frustration. God can use - and often does! - even the smallest of people to speak His truth into our lives!

After I lost my cool with my daughter, I apologized to the kids and told them I shouldn't have yelled and reminded them that we should always talk to each other calmly and kindly. Ezekiel paused for a second and said "Oh...that's ok mom. I forgive you. Don't give up. Just try again." Talk about melting my heart! I loved that last part...just try again. Isn't that what God offers us? Forgiveness and mercies new every morning.

Not so spiritual, but pretty funny anyway: As we were running our errands Bekah Jane fell asleep much earlier than I was hoping for (What is with that girl anyway?! How can she wake up at 9 and be asleep again at noon?). I let out a sigh of frustration and Ezekiel says "What's wrong mom?" So I tell him I was bummed his sister fell asleep already and he says "Oh. I have an idea! We need something loud. Like a drum. How about we go buy a drum??" Such a problem-solver, my little man.

Numbers 14 thru 20

It was a pretty discouraging day. Too many unchecked boxes still on my to-do list. Busy all day, and not much to show for it. To top it off, I was feeling guilty about losing my temper with my daughter. And then Kevan calls. How can he be on his way home from work already? What happened to the day??

As I recalled the events of the day to him, tears spilling along with every not-so-pretty detail, he listened and asked a few clarifying questions. When I finally shut up, here was my sweet husband's response:

"Well, hon, it sounds like a success to me. I just counted at least 12 things that you did to accomplish the mission of our family. You nurtured our kids, played with them, and allowed them to learn from your mistake. You built relationships and encouraged a friend. You worked around the house and did the dishes. You shopped for things for our home, clothed the kids, and spent time with the Lord. You even took a few minutes to relax. And on top of that, you worked for ECCU. It's days like this that makes me proud to go to my job every day so that you can stay home and be a mom to our kids."

I am writing this down, so that I can re-read it and remember. Because, no doubt, another day will come when I will need these words of encouragment! And I think this should count for reasons number 14 through 20 of why I love my husband!

Monday morning perspective.

Last week we had a follow-up ultrasound to check on the health of our baby boy.

This was necessary because our ultrasound at 18 weeks showed that our son had cysts on his brain, which could either mean one of two things: 1.) Sometimes cysts form as a baby develops and they go away on their own, completely harmless and - without all of this incredible technology - most of the time we would never know they were there. Or, 2.) Really, really bad things.

So that is what we were left to ponder in the month between the two ultrasounds. Our doctor was very reassuring that it was probably nothing and that the cysts would very likely be gone by our next ultrasound. And, thankfully, they were!

I can honestly say that we didn't worry about it while we waited, but you can't help but think about the different scenarios that could pan out when you're given news like that. Best case: Cysts go away and baby is fine. Middle of the road: Cysts are a sign of a chromosomal abnormality and baby is born with Down's Syndrome. Worst case: Chromosomal abnormality is more serious, like Trisomy 18, and baby does not live long after birth.

And I couldn't help but reflect on the conversation with my nurse practitioner as she reviewed the initial ultrasound. As I sat listening to the different possibilities, and being offered a myriad of tests, the nurse finally said: "Bethany, it all depends on whether or not you would change the course of the pregnancy depending on the results." Change the course of the pregnancy?! Of course, that is a pleasant-sounding euphemism for what she is actually referring to. Was I the only one that just saw that little guy not 10 minutes ago waving at me and wiggling his toes? He had fingers, and eyes, and a round little belly...he looked like my baby.

Yesterday Kevan taught the high school group on John chapter 9. The beginning of the chapter starts this way:

Now as Jesus passed by, He saw a man who was blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, saying "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents that he was born blind?" Jesus answered, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him."

Even though Kevan was not focusing on why God allows birth defects as he taught the passage, we both couldn't help but feel like that verse jumped off the page. "...that the works of God should be revealed in him."

How thankful we are that our son appears to be healthy and strong, but also how thankful I am for the peace that has accompanied this pregnancy. It is beautiful that God gives us the reassurance in His word that He absolutely uses our weaknesses, our frailties, and our imperfections to accomplish His purposes. Healthy or sick, strong or frail, God has given us this baby...that the works of God should be revealed in him. What a privilege to be a part of the journey!

For Nana...

I am just a tad behind, but I promised Nana I'd post some pictures of taking the kids out for their Valentine's Day treat! We had such a great time at the Cupcakery in the Orange Circle! Thanks for the making the day extra special, Nana!

Monkey See, Monkey Do

This morning Ezekiel sneaked my cell phone and called Kevan. (I didn't even know he could do that!). When I walked in and found him on the phone, he held up his finger to his lips and said in whisper to me, "Excuse me mom, I'm talking to daddy. I'm on the phone." And then he tried to shoo me away!! Ummm....ok?!? How old are you again?? Kevan and I had a good laugh over that one!

Sound Bites

A few of my favorites from Ezekiel lately:

• Last night I came home with my arms full of groceries. Ezekiel said, "Mom, you got milk for me? THANK YOU!" then threw his arms around the bagged groceries and said "I love them!"
• A while back, when I was helping Ezekiel use the potty, he obviously wanted some privacy when he said to me "Mom, just drop me off."
• My friend Trisha took me out for a pedicure for my birthday (ahhhh!). This morning, E looked at my feet and said "Mom, those toes are a-mazing!"
• Most mornings, my little guy will wake up and say "How did you sleep, Mom?" I just think that is so cute, coming from a 3-year-old. It's also pretty funny when he is the one that has kept me up at night!
• Last week the Kevan and the kids baked cookies together. A few days later, Ezekiel says to me "Uhhh...mom? I need something. Something brown. I know...a COOKIE!"

I know I am seriously overdue putting up pictures of the kids! It is just so much easier to write a blog than put up pics when I just have a few minutes. Baby steps, baby steps. They are coming!

Hello Baby Boy!

Guess what? Guess what? It's a BOY!! Yep, a brother. A son! We are thrilled! Honest to goodness, I would have been thrilled either way but it is so fun to know and dream about our new little guy. Of course, now I just want to meet him that much more! It may just be me, but he looked sooo cute on the ultrasound. Just like our other babies, he was waving and kicking and rolling all around. They are fun right from the beginning. =)

While Kevan had to work, my mom and the kids got to come and see the newest member of our family. Here's Bekah Jane waiting patiently to get called back to the ultrasound room:




When the tech got a good "visual" of the baby's gender, she gave me the thumbs up to get Kevan on the phone. Then, with the kids gathered around, we all heard the news together: "It's a boy!" Tears and cheers! Ezekiel was super funny when he dramatically gasped and said "A brother!"


Some fun pictures commemorating the special day we learned of our son! (This is my new birthday dress I bought with my cousins/aunts/sis-in-law when my mom surprised me with brunch and shopping earlier in the week!)

I'm sure I've said this on here before, but I am truly amazed at how interested the kids are in this whole pregnancy thing. Especially Ezekiel. He "checks on" the baby every day, talks to my tummy, and already seems very protective. It is so precious to me. I leave you with a conversation we had last night:

Ezekiel: Mom, is that your baby? (pointing to my belly)
Me: Yep, it sure is.

E: (Throwing his arms around my tummy) I'm hugging the baby. It's my baby brother. I love her.

Me: It's a "him", honey. Can you say "I love him"?

E: Yes, I love him.

Then Bekah Jane wanted to get in on the fun so she tries to sit on my belly.

Ezekiel: Baby, no! Don't sit on him! That's my baby brother! He's crying. Mom, I gotta check on him.

Ezekiel then looks inside my belly button to check on his baby, then turns to me and says sadly "He's still crying."

Oh, this is fun! =)

EEEEKKK!

Today is the day! Today is the daaaayyy! I cannot WAIT to see our little bug on an ultrasound today and (hopefully!) find out if it's a girl or a boy! I will update as soon as I can! Drumroll....

Blessed sleep.

This morning I woke up soooo refreshed because I - finally! - had a good night's sleep. The kids have been up a lot for over a week now due to sickness (or hurt toes, or hunger, or bad dreams, or whatever else they can think of to drag mom out of bed in the wee small hours). This does not do good things for a mom who a.) is used to getting her beauty sleep and b.) is making a person. I am GRUMPY. Oh, and did I mention that my neighbor's awesome dogs are also conducting bark-a-thons in the middle of the night? They might as well be in our bedroom, it is so stinkin' loud.

Soooo...that leads me to reason #12 why I love my husband:

When I woke up this morning and told him how incredibly glad I was for zero interruptions to my sleep last night he said "I know, babe. I slept on the couch so I could hear the kids first if they got up. And, I went over and oh-so-nicely asked the neighbors to shut their dogs up at 1 a.m." (I guess the neighbors were already hanging out in their front yard - just counting shooting starts, I'm sure - so he didn't have to actually knock on their door in the middle of the night!). Thankfully, the kids slept all night anyway, but I sure appreciated the effort my hubs made to protect my sleep!

Our newest Valentine

Sweet baby belly at 17 weeks.

In spite of the nausea (which, thankfully, passed around 11 weeks), and the suuuper low energy (which, I hope, seems to be fading more every day), I am so incredibly happy to be pregnant. Such a joy to feel the little flutters and anticipate meeting this new addition to our family! I am determined to enjoy every stage and soak it up...keep me accountable if I get sensitive about being huge! =)

Easy.

So, it's been a GREAT weekend so far and LOTS of wonderful things about my hubby are coming to mind. Quick, write them down while I'm thinking about it! And hopefully I will meditate on such things.

#9: Kevan makes it a point to take the kids on little outings one-on-one as often as he can. Nothing big, usually just a trip to the grocery store or to get ice cream. The kids love it and seem to understand that it's a special time. What I love? The kids know that their daddy wants to be with them....aaaand he usually brings me back a little treat too! (Yesterday it was a People magazine - usually it's chocolate!).

#10: Kevan usually calls me on his way home from work to get a pulse on how my day is going and to offer to help in some way. Well Friday was one of those not-so-great days, and I was at my lowest point with the kids when he called. As much as I wanted to sound chipper and excited to see him, I could not hide the frustration and discouragement in my voice. He immediately offered to take the kids out when he got home to give me a break. Thankfully, I got them both down for a nap instead (he gets home at 3!) and then thought to myslef, "Now, what would Kevan like to come home to?" I thought about doing the dishes, finishing the half-folded load of laundry, and a few other chores. And then I remembered that what he REALLY wants is a happy wife. So he came home to me relaxing in a bubble bath. The first thing out of his mouth? "Good for you, hon! I am so glad you're taking some time to yourself!" Good man, good man.

#11: He plans super fun family outings! Yesterday we went to the Natural History Museum in LA (perfect for a rainy day...especially with the "kids can touch fossils and other cool stuff" room downstairs!). On our way home I was nearly nodding off when he suggested we just stop by the house to pick up all our left-over tokens and head to Chuck E Cheese to play some games. Ummm...ok! It was CRAZY there (Chuck E Cheese on a rainy Saturday? What could be better?? We'll probably get a season pass.), but the kids seemed to have a great time anyway. We ended the night by BBQing steaks, playing hide-n-seek, and going for a family walk right before bedtime. I told you it was a great day. =)

Flutters.

I am feeling the baby move. Teeny tiny flutters and wiggles. It is incredible. I love how it makes me feel like I always have this little friend with me. I can be up early, all alone, and feel those itty bitty kicks and think "Oh, hi baby, you're here too!" Sitting in church, laying in bed at night, making dinner....kick, kick, kick...such a sweet reminder of our growing baby!

Less than 3 weeks til we find out what we're having!! Aaaaahhhh! Tell me, tell me, tell me!

More for today...

Here's what came to mind as I thought about why I love my husband today:

#6: He's not afraid to say he's sorry. And he's pretty darn good at it.

#7: This is a super humbling one: He shows me grace - all the time - even though I am so quick to judge him. Real-life example: When I locked the keys in the car - along with our baby son - on a scorching hot day and AAA had to come rescue him, Kevan was totally understanding and didn't make me feel bad for a second (I felt horrible anyway). When Ezekiel colored all over the walls on Kevan's watch, I was....ummmm....not so understanding. Let's just say that I did not handle it well. I love that my husband is my example in an area where I am weak.

#8: The other day I sort of not-so-subtly mentioned that "the baby" really wanted some hot and sour soup from a Chinese take-out place. After the initial "Are you serious?" and "You know we're having friends over for dinner in like 2 hours?" comments, guess who happily ran out to satisfy his wife's (er, baby's) craving? And it was soooo good! I mean, at least the baby thought so.

Challenge.

The other day I wrote on facebook "Reason number 247 why I love my husband..." and one of my cousins asked "Do you really have 246 other reasons why you love your hubby? Just 5 would be great!"



And she is right. But it got me thinking...there is something to be said about purposefully and intentionally focusing on our spouse's strengths. Granted, I think my job is easier than some because my hubby is a pretty great guy to begin with. But, let's be honest, everyone has weaknesses and things that just drive us crazy, and it's a choice to focus on the positives, right? Not in a pie-in-the-sky, love-is-blind kind of way. I'm talking about seeing the best in people, because God calls us to focus on whatever is virtuous and praiseworthy. And why not start with the people we love most - like our spouse?



So, here is my challenge to myself: I am going to start jotting down all the little things I love about Kevan. Wait, that's not the challenge. The challenge is to focus on the things I love, so that his wonderfulness will come to mind in those moments when I am frustrated or disappointed. And you, lucky readers (aka "mom"), get a sneak peak at that list.



Hopefully, this is just one of many quick posts adding to the list of things I love:

#1: One time, when the baby was crying in the middle of the night, he jumped out of bed so fast he hurt his ankle. Watching him limp around the next day only made me smile because it was evidence of his great love for his daughter. Plus, it was really funny.

#2: For the past 5 nights he has done the dishes without me asking. In fact, a couple of those nights I was out (once with friends and once for work) and I came home to a cleaner house than I left. This is definitely not something my husband would do naturally (what mess??), so I know he was really trying to make me happy. And it worked. Like a charm.

#3: Whenever we've gone through something traumatic, he still can keep his sense of humor. Unmarried girls: Look for a man who can make you laugh!! It will keep you sane in insane moments. (And sometimes drive you insane when you would otherwise be sane but, hey, the trade-off is worth it.)

Ok, just so you know, I'm stopping to think here. I know there are LOADS more, but it takes effort, right??

#4: A few weeks ago, he sat with a member of our church as her husband went to be with the Lord. Now that is beautiful.

#5: Right after we moved into our first house, I spilled an entire gallon of paint on our hardwood floors. As I stood there staring at the enormous mess I'd made, he scooped up our dog with lightening-like reflexes and then said to me without missing a beat "Babe, don't worry about it. They're our floors, we can paint them any color we want. I wouldn't have gone with white....but whatever."

Hey, that's 5! Now, to keep such things at the top of my mind...that is the goal.

"...Whatever things are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things." (Phil. 4: 8)

To be continued....!