Little Miss Turns 4!

Baby girl,

It was 4 years ago when I woke in the wee small hours of New Year's day to the sound of my newborn crying. I remember laying next to you in the dim light, staring into your sweet face, memorizing your tiny pink-swaddled body, and thinking there was no greater way to ring in the New Year. 

Fewer thing in life have brought me greater joy than being your mama, Bekah Jane.

I love finding your stuffed animals all lined up in random places all over the house--on the ledge of the bathtub, the arm of the couch, some wrapped in blankets, one dressed in your baby bonnet.

I love how you say "Mama" way more than necessary when you're talking to me... "What do you think about this, Mama? Do you like it, Mama? I got it for you, Mama!"

I love playing with you. The boys are definitely fun, but there is something extra adorable and endearing and captivating about playing with my little girl. Going down the slide with you over and over again on your birthday, watching your blond hair flow out behind you, I felt more alive just by participating in your joy. I was breathing hard from running and ducking through the obstacle course to get to the slide, laughing right along with you, and completely enamored by your sweet voice beckoning me "Come on, Mama!"

I love watching you play by yourself. Your imagination is one of your greatest gifts, my girl. You are so happy to play with your animals and dollies, getting lost in your own little world. (And you're even beginning to put everything back in its place when you're done...something the boys have no interest in. But, hey, they have other strengths, right?)

The way you say "very" instead of "really" is just about the cutet thing ever. And, of course, it comes out "berry", making it even cuter. Opening your birthday present: "I berry wanted this, Mama!" and "I berry love you!"

Tucking you in bed at night, I am always reminded--even on the days when I can't wait for you to go to sleep so I can finally rest--that I've been given the gift of another day with you. I love our little ritual: "Little kiss on the lips, big kiss on the cheek (this one can last a while, depedning on how hard you're trying to stall)" and singing you the butterfly song. I pray for you every night, Baby. For lots of different things, but always that you would grow up to know and love Jesus. 



Even with skin so fair, cornsilk hair, and eyes the color of a summer sky, we still have a few things in common, me and you. You wear your emotions on your sleeve, just like your mama, sweet girl. And, boy oh boy, can your emotions run wild. Helping you learn to identify the root of how you feel, and how to appropriately express your emotion has been a big part of my mothering you this past year. I see myself so easily in you in this way, and I hope and pray to spare you from some of the not-so-intelligent decisions I've made based on emotion. (PS: Boys get really annoyed when you cry and can't tell them what's wrong. PS Again: We don't look nearly as cute as we think we do when we're crying.)

And what about your relationship with Brother? You and Ezekiel are the best of friends, and it fills my heart right to the very brim to see you two together. You adore that brother of yours, and he's loved you since the day you were born. Remeber that he will always be your best friend, Baby, and you will be his. Remember how best friends treat each other, and practice that every day. As your baby brothers get bigger, you will also see them as good buddies too (and not just babies who knock over your doll house and scribble on your painting), and one day they will look out for you and protect you just like Ezekiel. I love seeing your kindess and tenderness toward the babies growing.

Bekah Jane, there is so much I want to teach you and experience with you. I can't wait to see what this next year hold for us. And thank you for all that you teach me.

I berry love you, too.
Mama