My baby.

Elijah is pushing two. 20 months old, as of yesterday. I sort of feel like hyperventilating just thinking that. How does this happen?! He was just born like two seconds ago!

I took about eight million pictures to commemorate him turning 18 months, about six of which he stood still for. For someone who took his sweet little time learning to walk, he sure is making up for it now! That boy never stops moving! I am so, SO glad I soaked up every moment of holding him as a baby, because the toddler version of Elijah simply does not have time for snuggling. =)

So, two months later, I am finally getting around to posting these pictures!

We sure love you, Elijah! Every stage with you is a wonder and delight. What a joy you are to us!

PS: I leave tomorrow to go visit my sister's new baby! I can't wait to meet my beautiful nephew Elliot!!

Desperate.

The other night a long-time friend and I were getting caught up, swapping stories, sharing ideas, and attempting to encourage one another in this journey called motherhood.

"So what time do you get up?," she asked me. "Usually by 5:30 or 6:00," I tell her. "What do you do so early?" she wants to know. Without hesitating, I simply blurt, "My Bible study." And then I remember. And her expression confirms. People who hear that other people - especially other exhausted mamas - get up super early to read their Bible sometimes feel, uh, guilty? Less spiritual? I don't know for sure, but I certainly used to be on the other side, wondering how other mamas did it, and quite sure that they must be more spiritually mature than I.

But now I know the truth.

It is not holiness that drives one out of bed while it's still dark. It's not piety, nor righteousness, that compels us to study, to soak in and pour over, the Scriptures while the house is still quiet. It's sheer, downright, no-where-else-to-turn desperation.

And how I love being desperate.

I need this bread of life, this lamp unto my feet, this living and active Holy Word, more than I need the air I breathe. It is a matter of survival.

I need to meditate on it, saturate myself in its Truths, and clothe myself in the Way I should go before my children's feet hit the floor. Otherwise I am lost. I am floundering from the moment I awake, little face staring into mine, child-whispering "I need breakfast mama." I stumble bleary-eyed from the bedroom, and I'm sucked into the undercurrent of spilled cereal beneath my feet, babies crying in cribs, wet diapers and soaked through pajamas, he took my toy, she hurt me on purpose, "Mom, does God want us to make mistakes?", no-we-do-not-chew-on-electrical-wires, please be GENTLE...and I am unanchored. I need to show love, to dredge up patience, to model kindness and forbearance...yet I can't remember how.

It's like walking into a war zone without your armor.

And, maybe it's just me, but I need to reapply that armor over and over and over again. How quickly I forget what love looks like. How could I have read His words just yesterday, and still live like I've never even heard the name of Jesus? I need more.

I need His Word, more and more of it. And I need to trust that it will change me. The gap between who I am and who He wants me to be - who I long to be - it will grow more narrow. How I want the joy in my heart, my gratitude for grace and mercy and life in Jesus, to spill over into my everyday actions, to completely override the frustrations, the irritations, the tug-of-war between selfish and selfless. I am desperate for it.

It's out of this place of desperation that I am drawn to Jesus. It's the broken who need to be fixed, the sick who need healing. Somewhere in the last year I went from feeling well (I think I actually thought mothering was...easy) to feeling very, very unwell. I was engulfed by my circumstances and - even more significant - paralyzed by a new-found awareness of my own sin. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. I am frantic for this foothold, and I will claw and scrape and cling to every opportunity I can that brings me back to the Truth of His Word. 

It was lovely when motherhood was easy, a gift from God. But I think this is the greater gift. It's the difficulty, the challenge, the inadequacy, the I-can't-do-this-on-my-own, the guilt, that has driven me straight to the foot of the cross.

And never has it been more beautiful.

What makes me happy!

Little moments that I thank God for! Here's a day in the life of the Plumb family...

That's E's swaddle blanket from his newborn days...still loves it!

Bekah Jane does everything with her Bunny...tucked in her arm eating lunch :)

I don't really know why, but I think this kind of stuff is so stinkin' cute!! I just love their imaginations and how they can play so contently in their own little worlds.

Bekah Jane made me lunch. Yes, that's grass and weed soup.

All clean and ready to suggle with daddy before bed!

A kid sitting and reading...does it get much better? I submit that it does not.

Elijah pointing at the moon out the window.

And now, because he's my baby, I am going to post a million pictures of Eli exploring the swingset...how did he get so big?!?

Oh, hey there cutie!

Bekah Jane rescued these fish from her bath toys and decided to give them each their own individual aquarium. It cracks me up to walk into my kitchen and see stuff like this.

Happy girl playing (this is the bulk of her day...I sort of love it!)

Welcome home after a long day, daddy!

Kevan showing Bekah Jane her (super belated) birthday present!

Wait, how'd that get in there?? Empty laundry baskets? Yep, definintely qualifies as something that makes me happy!!

My boy spending his days playing in the dirt...so great!

Come on in!

Hey, wanna see something fun? My house is clean(ish)! Well, at least the kids' rooms are! So, like any good mother of 4, how do I celebrate this victory? By taking pictures of course. So I can look at them longingly in about 5 minutes when the tornado-known-as-my-children destroys any evidence of cleanliness and order.

Truth is, I would much rather decorate than clean. Isn't it just waaay more fun?! My projects are never complete, so I'm not even going to try to wait until the rooms are "done" to post pics...we both know I will have already started RE-decorating before I am convinced a room is officially finished. So, come on in and enjoy a little tour!


Remember this room? I posted pictures a while back when Bekah Jane's wall got a make-over, but I will put up a few more just cuz it's so pretty.

I just added this ladder to her wall. Stole it from Ezekiel's room and turned it sideways to use as a display rack...lots more to add (of course!) but thought it turned out cute.

Some fun finds from Cambria antique stores dress up her dresser.

And now, on to Ezekiel's room! His is done up in a vintage sports theme. Love the banner flags I snagged from our VBS decorations when the week was over!

Bowling trophy was my grandpas. Love that. Those pins next to the football are Kevan's soccer buttons from when he was a kid (yes, he had a mullet!).

Love this little collection. Hate the non-color of this wall.

How cute is this mini-clipboard?? Such a fun way to display Bible verses and pictures in E's room. Heidi found this in Cambria and graciously let me purchase it because I kept drooling over it in her shopping basket.

Let's go to the nursery! Here's the room we affectionately call the "Babies' Room"...shared by Elijah and Samuel. This was probably the hardest room for me to pull together...felt like to took forever before I liked it...but now it may be my favorite! I picked the vintage toys-n-games idea long before I realized how stinkin' expensive that stuff is...so it's been much harder to decorate because I had to be patient and wait for great deals. But it came together! Here's the view from the door, and that's Elijah's crib.

Love these jars full of marbles, tinker toys, and vintage blocks.

And here's Samuel's crib...

How fun are these?? I need to swap out the blocks for more vintage ones I got at an estate sale, but I haven't brought the ladder in to do it!

Thanks for dropping by! Fun to share my little projects with you! Come back again!