Today I got a nice check in the mail, compliments of the Paid Family Leave Act - along with a notice informing me that my benefits are exhausted. Well guess what, Benefits? You're not the only one.
I admit it, I am exhausted. I know I talk a lot about the wonderful things of motherhood and the joys in my life. And you know why? Because, for the most part, life is wonderful. But I am quickly learning that wonderfulness and exhaustion can indeed co-exist. I am at the point where my to-do list is so long I don't even know where to begin. I finally get the kids down for a nap or down for the night and I am either too overwhelmed with what I should get done, or too tired to even begin thinking about it, and the list just gets longer. Perhaps I should lower my expectations. But I don't think ignoring the laundry will really solve anything (trust me, I'm doing that right now and all it's accomplishing is stressing me out knowing that 47 piles of laundry are waiting to be hung up).
Here, to illustrate my point, I'll go ahead and paint you a picture.
GOAL FOR THE MORNING: Go to Costco.
Seems pretty achievable, right? Rrrrighhtt... Here's sort of how it went:
Get dressed
Get Rebekah dressed
Bekah spits up all over her dress (decide to ignore it. after all, she'll just spit up on the next outfit, too)
Get Ezekiel dressed
Bekah spits up again, this time all over my outfit (decide to wipe it up with a burp cloth and hope that my skirt is cute enough to distract from the spit up on my shoulder)
Start packing up the diaper bag
Phone rings, baby cries, Ezekiel bites his sister, time out, give sister kisses, change poopy diaper, shoot... time to feed the baby again
What was I doing again? Oh yeah, pack the diaper bag
Load kids in the car, pull out of driveway (yesss!)
Bummer, forgot my cell (nooo!). Pull back into driveway and run into the house.
We're off!!
Glance at the clock. 30 minutes until naptime. Shoot. No time to make it to Costco. Hit up Henry's instead.
Spend $4 too much on milk. Spend most of my time convincing Ezekiel that he doesn't need a "bite" of everything in our cart. Spend 15 seconds feeling proud when a little grandma tells me "You're a good mother" as we pick out pears. Spend the next 2 minutes dealing with a temper tantrum and experiencing a gigantic decrease of the aforementioned pride.
I have reason to be tired, right? Right?! Other moms? Tell me I am not alone...
PS: In case you're wondering, I went ahead and tackled those pesky loads of laundry before I finished writing this blog.
13 comments:
Ok I am here to tell you that you are not alone and ONE day you will look back and laugh. It only gets better(and more tiring-sorry) but it is really fun being a mommy-isn't it??? Oh by the way your kids are STINKIN CUTE
Oh wow, i have lots to look forward to...and learn! Look forward to seeing you and your little ones in the not too distant future.
Costco & laundry??? That was on my to-do list yesterday too :) Well, the laundry will probably be on the list today, tomorrow, the next day... :) When the kiddos get older, instead of spit-ups, diapers and naptimes, you get to field spills, public bathroom (Ahhh... don't touch that! Did you flush the toilet and wash your hands?!? MOM... there's no toilet paper...)and pick-ups & drop-offs. I suppose it will all pass in good time and it's all just for a season... right?!? You ARE doing a great job, Beth! Hang in there :)
You are not alone! Hey Bethany, it's Jill, Kristen’s friend from Seattle. We are getting ready to have our 2nd boy in June and I read your post and have often wondered if that is what it will be like and indeed it seems like it’s the case. Max is been a very independent 2 yr old and has been challenging my patience for a while now. I feel like I'm losing my mind some days. I love him, but there are some days that I think how am I going to do this with an infant in tow? Thanks for sharing; it makes me feel better that other mom’s struggle with the same things…sometime you just feel so alone.
By the way…Your kids are adorable!
It's these days when you look back and think, "I was terribly busy today, I wonder what I did." I always laugh when my working mom friend says, "Just think I do everything you do, plus I work." I beg to differ as most of my day is spent caring for the kids, not making my house immaculate, completing wonderful projects, making gourmet meals or anything like that. Yes, I am blessed that I am usually able to get the laundry and stuff done during the day so it doesn't haunt us on the weekends but it certainly isn't like I once imagined. I really did used to think I would sew and do all kinds of wonderful things once I quit my job to take care of my newborn son. I told you once I allow a whole year after birth to get back to normal. Well, I'm pretty much able to keep up with stuff now, oh no.... here we go again!!
Beth,
Now I really understand why you asked me..."is it really that much harder?" There is a book, one of my childhood favorites, it is called Alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good , very bad day. You need to read it, it describes life perfectly. You are doing a wonderful job as a mother, a wife, a sister and a daughter, oh and don't let me forget a cousin. There is also a song that says, "There will be days like this, there will be days like this, there will be days like this my Momma said." Take each day and enjoy your little ones, there is always time for laundry and dishes, but they only stay little for a moment.
When can you do lunch?
Love,
Lissa
Bethany you are so not alone! I always plan on running two hours behind schedule....for example on Easter Ryan and I wanted to attend the 8:30 service....well we missed that one, and the 10:00 service but we did make it to the 11:30 service with 5 minutes to spare! All that said and done, having a toddler and a baby is a world of its own...a world where you never go out of the house with everyone well dressed...with no food or spit up on their clothes, and everyone having a "happy heart"....unless you are about 2-3 hours behind schedule! Hang in there....Since I am still daily living this I can only tell you what others have told me, it will get easier...and you will miss these days, even the crazy ones!
Well written, Bethany. I can relate...sometimes it feels like an olympic event getting everyone ready and buckled into the car.
Broken Record: "One of my FAVORITE things about my dear friend B is how she daily CHOOSES to find good in her life, no matter how hard the day." I've told you this a million times, and here you are again, proving my observation right. I can hear it in your undertones, that innate humor and take-it-in-striden-ness that can't help but surface in the midst of even the most challenging days! I love your perspectives, and getting to live life through your eyes... You are amazing, B, and don't let that growing list make you feel otherwise! Although, that house better be spotless when I come next month. If there's even one dust bunny... ;)
Thanks for letting us all sympathize and laugh at life with you... good therapy, my friend!! I love you!
YOUR NORMAL! I've been reading your blog for the last couple of months and wonder how you make it sound so easy and what was wrong with me. I loved this blog infact I read it a couple of times and had Steve read it too, it made us laugh. You're a great mom and thank you for being normal!
B, as so many other people wrote, you ARE such an amazing mother and friend, and I love your realness and humor that you have about the reality of life! Your day sounds much like mine these days, and I only have one! (It took me 3 hours to go to Trader Joes today and ended up going with spit up on me, Caden and my Baby Bjorn. But I made it!). You balance life amazingly, B, and most importantly, you show love to your kids in every little spit up you wipe up and grocery trip you take, even if you feel like you are going crazy! I pray you find moments of rest; and don't worry about that stinkin' laundry. Clean clothes are overrated. ;-) Love you!
Pre-Cam I was the most punctual person and found myself annoyed with anyone that wasn't. Enter baby. Out went that way of thinking!! Sometimes it truly is impossible. Great post and I completely sympathize!
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