Ezekiel's Animals

For several months now Ezekiel has been obsessed with animals. All day long, our conversations revolve around various animals and their eating habits, mostly. His favorite questions is: "Do (fill in the blank, whatever random animal pops in his head) eat people, or his own food?"

Like this: "Hey mom, do rhinos eat people? No? Oh! They eat their own food! Yeah, that's right. They're nice rhinos."

And, just for posterity, here are a few other classic Ezekiel animal statements I've heard lately:


E: Hey, mom, Can we go to China?
Me: Ummmm....why honey?
E: Well, they have panda bears.

E: I wish we had some pets in our house.
Me: Like what?
E: How 'bout a chameleon, and an anteater, and an armadillo, and a crocodile?
Me: Probably not, babe, crocodiles eat people.
E: Noooooo (with a nervous giggle)...they eat their own food!

"Mom, do lions eat people? (Before I can answer) Oh, yeah. Yeah, they do. But it was an accident."

E: Do dogs eat people?
Me: No, honey, not really.
E: Oh, they eat their own food? So they don't eat kids?
(Probably a good opportunity to explain the difference between "eating" and "biting"!)

E: Is there an elephant at the petting zoo?
Me: No, they are too big to pet. They could step on you.
E: (Pause) Ohhhh....I know! How about a baby elephant??

E: (Driving home at 11 p.m.) Can we go to the zoo?
Me: No, honey, the zoo is closed. All the animals are sleeping.
E: (Pause) How about we just stand at the gate and watch them sleep?

Me doing my hair in the morning, Ezekiel hopping into my bathroom: "Mom! Kangaroos live in Australia. And so do koalas and emus!"