To my oldest.

Dear Ezekiel,

The birthday you've long since looked forward to has finally come and gone. Six! You made it. You couldn't wait for this day. When we asked you yesterday, after celebrating at the San Diego Zoo, if all your hopes and dreams had come true, you replied: "Yes! Oh, except for one thing...the dream where I have creature powers. That hasn't happened yet." 

You make us laugh...and cry too. This past year has brought plenty of tears to my eyes as I watch you learn, listen to you share your love for Jesus, and smile as you care for your brothers and sister.

Yesterday at the zoo, while we waited in line for the bus, you kept kissing Elijah on the head and saying "I love you Elijah." The people behind us thought it was adorable, of course, and when you noticed them watching you, you just said "This is my baby brother Elijah. I love him." I couldn't even make eye contact with the poor people, for fear that they would notice the goofy, I-am-so-stinkin'-proud-of-my-son look on my face.

You started reading this year. Just small words at first, then sight words. And now sentences and pages, when you're really trying. It is amazing to teach you, a privilege to be a part of your learning. It reminds me a lot of watching you take your first steps. I can't wait to see you take off!

And some things you learn without hardly trying at all. Like anything and everything about animals. Just tonight you were telling me about all the birds that can be classified as "raptors" and what defines them as such (I thought raptors were extinct). Not too long ago, you added this to your "idea list": Visit flying fish in the Atlantic ocean. I love your love for animals, son, and how deeply you appreciate all that God has created.

What I love most, though, is how you want to share our creative God with others. What a year it's been, watching you grow into a boy who is passionate - insistent even - about sharing Jesus. Remember your new friend at the park?  You ran back to him, after already saying goodbye, as if you couldn't believe you almost missed the opportunity. "Hey, did you know God is here right now with us?" you said, running beside him, "He's always with us, and He protects us. I always try to obey God. You gotta obey God, ok?" And then there was our gardener's son, who heard all about the 7 days of creation as you both played in the backyard. When I called you in for dinner, you didn't want to come in. "I can't mom! Brandon doesn't believe in God yet!"

You've even encouraged me in my own faith, my son. And this I did not see coming. One night you were up late chatting with me as I painted some furniture. We were talking about the day and I said to you, "You know, I'm feeling discouraged about today. You know I love you so much, right? But sometimes I still don't make the right decisions as your mom and I let you down. I just want you to know that I need Jesus just as much as you do." I thought this was a good parenting moment, until you blew me away with this, "Don't worry, mom, this world is not what it's supposed to be. One day God is going to come back again and take all that is wrong and make it right again." What?! I am not that good of a parent. This was not a good parenting moment, this was a GOD moment. God is at work in you, bear, and it is an absolute joy to see.

We've had our share of struggles this year, too, challenges with anger and selfishness and itchy clothes that really aren't that itchy but you insist that they are. And we are both learning how to handle these things, me as your mother trying to coach you through them, and you learning to obey and take what the Bible says to heart (not so much about the itchy clothes, but the other stuff). And I know that God is, and will, and will forever continue to refine you for His glory!

And so I pray for you each night, as I tuck you into bed (and answer whatever random animal question you have for me), "Lord, may Ezekiel grow to love and serve and honor you with his whole heart and life."

Happy 6th birthday, bear! I love, love, love you!

Mama