It takes a village.

Ok, time to talk a little more about foster care. I struggle with how much to say on this blog, because I want to be real and specific about our experience...but I also want to protect C from ever thinking that HE is a problem. So, I will say it like this: This situation is HARD. Harder than we ever could have imagined, for reasons we never dreamed would apply to us.

You know how people tell you labor is hard? And after the 800th person tells you their birth story, you're like "yeah, yeah, I get it"? And then you actually go through labor and you're like "Oooohhhh....NOW I get it!" Nothing can ever really prepare you for that experience, until you go through it yourself. I'm sure you see the analogy here. We were "warned", we were prepared in every way you probably can be prepared to enter the world of foster care, yet we've still been brought to our knees by the difficulty of this challenge.

When you bring a newborn home from the hospital, everyone knows you just had a baby and wants to help ease the transition of adding another to your family. Bringing a child in through foster care is a bit different...it's confusing to others, I think. Are you babysitting? Is he staying? Oh, he's so cute...you must be loving it! But I don't think people typically think of it as a major family adjustment. I will say this: In our experience, bringing home a baby from the hospital and the ensuing crazy weeks that follow is way, WAY easier than adding a child to your family through foster care. I don't say that to advocate birth over adoption, not in any way. (And, admittedly, we got off pretty easy in the happy newborn department.) I just want to share perspective as you encounter other families in your church/social circle/whatever that bring in kids to their home that are not their biological children. Think of the care families need when they have a new baby, and add an extra measure of prayer and support on top of that. =)

Here are some of the amazing ways people have rallied around us to help carry our load:

• In the first couple of months, several families brought meals which was a HUGE help. I honestly don't think I cooked for the first two months we had C. The very idea of making dinner with everything we had going on sounded ludicrous. (Thankfully, that is no longer the case and I am back to making 3 meals a day, most days!) This is one of my favorite examples of how a simple gesture can be a huge blessing: One day back at the beginning, a lady from our church called several times and I never picked up because I was so overwhelmed with caring for C and the others. When I finally checked my messages, I was blown away by her words: "The Lord put you on my heart this morning to bring you dinner tonight. Please call me back to let me know if that's ok. I'm just trying to obey what God tells me to do." The Lord meets our needs! And he uses his people to do it! Her act of obedience not only eased my physical load for the day, it boosted my faith that God was caring for us. Isn't that beautiful?



• Another gal from my Bible Study offered to come by my house once a week for a few weeks to help with laundry, dishes, meal prep, whatever. I cannot even explain how amazing this was. She was like an angel sweeping her way through my home, without a hint of judgement at the mess she was stepping over, and getting right to work without hardly stopping to ask for directions. She'd leave a clean kitchen, dinner in the fridge, and a load of laundry in the dryer. THEN, she would pray over each room in my house before she quietly slipped out the door. God bless Sarah.



• Several people have called on their way to the grocery store or Costco to ask if they can pick me up anything. This is like calling a prisoner and asking if you can bring them anything in jail. Ok, that's a bit dramatic...but you get the picture. My answer is almost always YES! Between loading up my 4 preschoolers and braving a trip to the store or having an angel drop off a gallon of milk at my door, I choose the angel! What a gift. (These days it is not so daunting to run to the store with the kids...but it's still convenient when my mom offers to pick up something for me!).



• My dearest friends have all lightened my load by faithfully praying, sending me encouraging text messages, vacuuming when they come over for a play date, and folding laundry as we chat. They've also offering a non-judgemental ear as I pour out my frustrations, concerns, and weaknesses.



• Several families from our church have offered to babysit for us for dates, doctor's visits, etc...and we are so thankful! It takes 2 babysitters usually to watch all 4 of the kids, so when a family offers we are especially thankful because they all pitch in to play and help!



• Basically, my mom is amazing and wonderful and I would die without her. Everything she does is helpful and encouraging...so if you want to be a support to foster families you can just ask her what she does for us! =)



• On that note, a couple weeks back my entire family gathered in our living room to pray for us and for C (some joined us via Skype, but we were all there!). Plus our pastor and his wife joined us. That was an awesome night of encouragement and renewal for us.

Orphan care is a community effort. Every believer has an opportunity to care for these kids, either directly by fostering/adopting or indirectly by caring for the families that bring them into their homes. Thank you, thank you for being a part of C's life and helping us care for him! We cannot do this alone, and by God's grace and provision we don't have to. Is it hard? YES. Do we have any regrets. Nope. Sometimes, hard is exactly where God wants you.